"Unspeakable Gift from God"....

Couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to speak in sacrament meeting - I thought I'd go ahead and post my talk here.

One of my favorite TV quotes is from Stargate Atlantis when Sheppard is telling Dr. Weir that “it's the right thing to do; why? Because it it.” Oddly enough this explains what I do a lot of the time – it was very relate-able. Now I ask you, what does this have to do with General Conference? I'll tell you. During the first session of conference on Saturday, Elder Craig Christensen spoke about the Holy Ghost and how its the “Unspeakable Gift from God,” it's more of a feeling you can't explain rather than a voice that teaches us the things we should do. This topic is very near and dear to my heart because the last 17 months have been...incredible – I've learned things in ways I never would have learned had the Lord not seen fit in his mercy to teach me, He has comforted and guided and has been so incredibly patient, He has sent people, inspiration and guidance when I needed it the most.

First - what is the mission of the Holy Ghost?

Quoting straight from Elder Christensen's talk:

The Holy Ghost works in perfect unity with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, fulfilling many important roles and distinct responsibilities. The primary purpose of the Holy Ghost is to bear witness of God the Father and of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to teach us the truth of all things. A sure witness from the Holy Ghost carries far more certainty than a witness from any other source. President Joseph Fielding Smith taught that “the Spirit of God speaking to the spirit of man has power to impart truth with greater effect and understanding than the truth can be imparted by personal contact even with heavenly beings.”

I've heard it described as speaking spirit to spirit, working through feelings and impressions.

Going back to his talk:

The Holy Ghost is also known as the Comforter. During times of trouble or despair or simply when we need to know that God is near, the Holy Ghost can lift our spirits, give us hope, and teach us “the peaceable things of the kingdom,” helping us feel “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding.”

I would like to share a personal experience with you if I may – almost two months ago there was a major restructuring at work, and it made me feel very insecure, very nervous and very paranoid. And scared. After I received the news – I immediately started praying. I explained my problem to the Lord, told Him what was going on and why I was so upset and after listening to me – He helped me calm down, whereas before I felt like I could not continue on and my world was over, He told me that it would be okay, that I'd be fine and that there was something I was suppose to learn from this experience. I felt so much calmer and more at peace in that moment, than I had in a long time – it was like the Lord had reached down and given me a heavenly hug. Nothing has changed – work is still incredibly stressful but my ability to cope with it has increased – I know that I am where I'm suppose to be and that my time is not up, yet.

It was really cool though because afterwards there was this song that kept coming to mind and would replay itself over and over again all day long until I could get into see the bishop that night. It was very encouraging and gave me the strength to continue on.

Thru test and trial we’ll have our fears,
But we will not despair.
We’re here to serve a righteous cause;
Truth gives us strength to dare.
We’ll love, and learn, and overcome;
We’ll sing a joyful song,
As Zion’s youth in latter days,
Triumphant, pure, and strong.

Elder Christensen goes on to say:

The Holy Ghost is a teacher and a revelator. As we study, ponder, and pray about gospel truths, the Holy Ghost enlightens our minds and quickens our understanding. He causes the truth to be indelibly written in our souls and can cause a mighty change to occur in our hearts. As we share these truths with our families, with fellow members of the Church, and with friends and neighbors in our community, the Holy Ghost becomes their teacher as well, for He carries the message of the gospel “unto the hearts of the children of men.”

The Holy Ghost inspires us to reach out to others in service. For me, the most vivid examples of heeding the promptings of the Holy Ghost in the service of others come from the life and ministry of President Thomas S. Monson, who said: “In the performance of our responsibilities, I have learned that when we heed a silent prompting and act upon it without delay, our Heavenly Father will guide our footsteps and bless our lives and the lives of others. I know of no experience more sweet or feeling more precious than to heed a prompting only to discover that the Lord has answered another person’s prayer through you.”

Another experience I would like to share – a couple of years ago, I was in the MTC with my family dropping off my younger brother for his mission and my dad leaned over and asked me if I would come home that summer and get my CNA license, he sited financial reasons and always having a job but also, that it felt right. It felt right to me too – so I went home and did it. I often think about that one decision and the rippling effect it has had on my life – I have been blessed in more ways than I can count to come into peoples lives and help them at a time when they needed it, I've been told on numerous occasions that I have been an answer to prayer – which makes me even grateful that my dad and I both listened to the Spirit years ago.

Elder Christensen goes on to say:

We all have experiences with the Holy Ghost, even though we may not always recognize them. As inspired thoughts come into our minds, we know them to be true by the spiritual feelings that enter into our hearts. President Boyd K. Packer has taught: “The Holy Ghost speaks with a voice that you feel more than you hear. … While we speak of ‘listening’ to the whisperings of the Spirit, most often one describes a spiritual prompting by saying, ‘I had a feeling … ’.”It is through these sacred feelings from the Holy Ghost that we come to know what God would have us do, for this, as stated in scripture, “is the spirit of revelation.”

In thinking about ways the Spirit has spoken to me – its through thoughts and impressions, feelings when I've been driving in the car (I spend a lot of time in the car), sometimes its when I'm in with a patient (I'm a hospice CNA, I work with terminal people right before they die) but it's also when I'm studying the scriptures, praying, at church, all over – anytime anywhere.

I was having a tough day at work a while ago and a series of scriptures from the Old and New Testament were coming to mind:

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha. (John 14:27, Isaiah 49:14-16, 2 Kings 6:16-17)

The Lord knew what I needed to hear because He knows me and knows “the thoughts and intents of our hearts. He loves us and wants us to be happy, and since He knows the challenges we will face, He can guide us and teach us all things we must do to return and live with our Heavenly Father once again.”

Early last fall – I was having a terrible day. I had a pounding headache. I hadn't eaten anything all day, and I was hungry. I was stuck in traffic, my car was over heating. I was late to my next appointment. And the sun was shining much too bright. I was fuming in my car and was complaining and muttering to myself. Finally it was like a voice had said, “Stop.” It took me by surprise because I was all alone in the car and it was like an audible voice. I was still perturbed and was rather snappish in my mental reply, “What?” A very calm soothing reply “What's the problem?” I explained about my headache, and how I hadn't eaten, and being stuck in traffic and the sun shining too bright. After each problem, the Spirit was like “Can't do anything about it, move on.” At the conclusion of this, I realized that there's not a lot I can control, the only thing I can do is control how I respond to it. It was like a lightbulb had gone off and I was like “ohhh” I felt the Lord gently laughing at me that day – I think about that a lot when I start over-reacting and getting upset at traffic and my car and life in general.

One last scripture, 1 Kings 19:11-12:

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

I know that these things are true – that the Lord speaks to us in ways we'll understand, whether that's an impression, a scripture or hymn coming to mind, a song on the radio or through someone else. I know that the Lord is aware and loves us very much. I know that the scriptures are the word of God, I'm grateful for the opportunity we all had to listen to General Conference a couple of weeks ago. I know Thomas S. Monson leads and guides the church today and is the Lord's mouthpiece in moving His work along – I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A Moral Dilemma....

In my Human Growth and Development class we've been talking about adolescence and sex. It was so funny, the first week or so of class my teacher was like, "How can you be a human being and be embarrassed about conception or birth? We were all there!" Made me laugh.

With the unit we're currently studying, it's been talking about adolescence and how some teens are "driven" to commit suicide because they see no other alternative to fixing their problem - whatever it may be. I had to pause at that and think about it - suicide is so permanent. We can't undo anything but we can fix it and move on - cutting, eating disorders, body modifications, etc, etc - we can't move on from suicide, once we're dead we're dead. Such a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem that has eternal consequences. For people in general and especially teenagers and young adults, suicide is wrong but, I think there can be extenuating circumstances where it might be okay.

And by that I mean, doctor assisted suicide in terminally ill patients. I don't hold with pillow therapy though - that's just wrong. I know the church's stance - don't do it, the Lord is very concerned with how we enter and how we leave this world - I get that. But - when quality of life has been compromised, you're not getting better, and you're painfully, slowly dying a little more each day - might it be okay?

Your thoughts?

245 Hours and Counting...

In the past 5 weeks that I've been back since I went on vacation – I have worked almost 245 hours. Last pay period I worked just over 115 hours – I got paid for all of my hours but they didn't pay me my 24 hours of overtime, I got 4 of my hours. I called them and they said my 20 hours would be on my next paycheck. All I have to say is, it better. This pay period I've worked a 103 hours – 23 of which have been overtime. Which means that this pay check should have 43 hours of overtime and 103 hours of straight time. And if it doesn't I am seriously tempted to just walk out the door and not come back.

The problem is that for the past four weeks I have done the majority of the visits because the other full-time aid hasn't come back yet and the new people we hired haven't started yet. The VP has been pushing continuity of care – at first I didn't understand why that was so important but after four weeks of seeing the same people I understand. But it's produced some interesting results.

Namely – I am so tired, so frustrated, so overworked, so overwhelmed and so tired of all the crap that's been going on at the office. The migraines have not been nearly as frequent and my stomach hasn't been tied in nearly as many knots. And my appetite hasn't been the same. Mainly because I got a blessing from my bishop four weeks ago and I've been calm ever since – incredibly stressed out and tired but calm, it's very strange.

What they're looking for is career CNA's – which I think is utterly ridiculous, especially for what they're paying us and how they're treating us, they don't want any of us in school or to have a life outside of hospice. At the very least it's not nice – but I guess they don't really care about that. There has been one CNA who wants to help me with my visits and who has the time to do so – the rest just don't know what's going on because they're in school full-time and are oblivious to all the drama. But – I'm hesitant to let her do so because I know how the VP and DCS feel about her, even though they have not told her directly to her face though everybody, including her, know – stuff that should be private, isn't – it's very strange. But the main reason why I'm not letting her help me is because she shouldn't have to put up with all the crap that I'm putting up with when I can still put up with it. Her school load is heavier than mine and she has other responsibilities – I see no reason to inflict this kind of crap on anyone else when I can deal with it.

But I'm not – I'm not handling it well at all – I was but not anymore. It's gone on too long. A quote from a book is coming to mind - “It's too much for you, isn't it?” Thankfully though I think there's a light at the end of the tunnel – I'm training a new CNA next week and hopefully, it'll get better. The thing is, the CNA who was out on R&R is coming back next week, in theory, and I'm training the new full-time CNA and the new part-time CNA next week – there won't be enough work for us all, they're counting on our census going dramatically up and I am prepared to bet almost anything, that it won't. Which means, either that we're all going to be sitting around the office twiddling our thumbs, they're going to fire some of us or change our status to PRN and not give us any visits – which is almost the same thing.

This week has just been emotionally trying because I've been working 8-13 hour days with the same patients that I've been seeing for the last four weeks and two of them are on their way out the door and eight have died in the last four weeks. I had the opportunity today to talk to my old boss about it – it was great, he just listened to me, which is what I needed – I don't want anyone to solve my problems I just want people to listen and pretend they care for a moment. He asked me why I was taking the patients passing so hard right now, if it'd always been that way or what. Every patient who dies affects you in some way, depending on how close you were, some more than others – right now it's just the combination of multiple things all at the same time but due partly to overworking and continuity of care – I'm the only one that's been seeing the vast majority of these people. And the other thing is when they're screaming in pain, and calling out for their dead husband, for this to just be over, and they start hallucinating and getting very delusional due to lack of sleep, and they won't take their medicine because they're too anxious and they can't calm down enough to take it – it starts to get to you after a while. Some pass away quickly and quietly and for others it's just dragged out for forever and they're in so much pain and there's not a thing you can do about it or to help them – other than to pray that they die, which seems so inappropriate.

My old boss wouldn't have let me work this much though – he would have found a way to get our other CNA back or circumvented the VP and DCS' dislike of the other CNA and given some of my visits to her anyway. Maybe I just should have been telling them no all along but when my old boss was here, I didn't care – I enjoyed everything about my job. Now – not so much. Now I mind. A price has to be paid – before it was worth it, mainly because I knew what the expectation was. Now I don't know if I want to pay the price – because they've changed all the rules without telling us and I don't know what it is.

My patients are so incredibly sweet though – not when they're calling me names or screaming but when they're not doing that, they're sweet. They're so starved for attention and love, I just want to help them so much – they fill a void in my life and give me purpose. Just some days are harder than others.

"Off with Your Head!"

Work has been so incredibly stressful lately – the week before vacation my stomach was in knots, my neck, shoulders and back were killing me and then I left for vacation and was completely relaxed the entire time and then I came back and two weeks later my boss was fired. And it's been an extremely interesting week. 

In January the owner of the company told the DON to fire our DSC, then the existing VP was demoted to DSC in the SLC office – a new VP was hired, then our social worker quit to go back to school, our DSC quit, a new one was hired, another company bought us and we're in the midst of this merger, our new social worker quit, our lead marketer quit and our DON got fired. The new DSC is running the SLC office but she has not a clue what she's doing and is in way over her head. It's turned into a soap opera. The VP is hanging out at the SLC office to train the DCS and both of them are yelling and swearing at everyone in the mean time – they're really good at criticizing, belittling and condemning in front of the entire office and before they have all the facts. Their mentality seems to be that if they haven't got you either in tears or second-guessing yourself before the day is out, then they have failed. I don't know what their objective is but it is not cool – it's getting rather ugly, every time you go into the office it's like you're walking on eggshells. You stay at the office long enough to get done only what needs to be done and then you leave as soon as possible – otherwise you risk getting yelled at just because you're there. “Off with Your Head!”

What was great about our DON was that he had our backs and he was the buffer between us, the owner and the VP – he ran the gauntlet for us. He trusted us, we trusted him – he backed us up and empowered us to make decisions, think outside the box and bend the rules as necessary to get the job done. Now it's completely opposite.

One of the aids had hurt her back and has been unable to work, this is the second week now – she's cleared for light duty but the VP wont let her come back, she told her to go home – and we don't know when she'll be allowed back. So in the mean time, I'm covering her patients and mine – never mind that the semester started up again and I have classes to prepare for. Last week I worked over 60 hours. I wish I could say no but I can't – for one thing there is no one else available and I have bills to pay, we are in the midst of hiring a couple of new people though – I don't know when they start or if they'll make it through orientation (we had one quit before she even started and another quit as soon as she got her first patient).

There are seven aids plus me, well eight actually. Two are PRN and currently unavailable, four are part-time and have minimal availability, one is full-time but is out on R&R, I'm technically part-time because I'm in school but I work full-time hours and the other aid is our TC and she's been filling in as needed but then that leaves no one in the office – we've been borrowing a HomeHealth aid to make up the difference but she's super busy with her own patients. Two of our aids have been banned from various facilities – we've been told that if we send them again the facility will pull our patients and put them with a different hospice. I don't think they'll actually fire any of us just because then we'd get unemployment but what they will do is change our status to PRN and then only give us one or two patients a week. Some facilities have flat out refused to give us referrals or work with us again because our DON got fired.

I think thats a little extreme – I think you should try to work with the new DCS before saying “No I'm not working with you” but obviously I'm only getting part of the story, so, what's really going on here? What is the underlying issue? Part of me wants to stick it to the man and quit and the other part wants to see if I can work for these women – as it currently stands though I do not trust nor do I particularly like either one of them. But I'm not a quitter and I'm not one to just turn tail and run when the going gets tough – I'm not the type to say I can only work for one person and one person only. Though truth be told, the DON was the main reason me and others stayed – now my residents are the reason. We're going through a trial period where we're seeing if this is going to work, and if not, then we'll seek opportunities else where.

July in Pictures....

Quail Fire

The Quail Fire in the Alpine/Highland area 20 miles east of Draper burned for about a week, during the first week or so of July and cost roughly $50,000. It burned about 2,222 acres, hundreds of people were evacuated but the only property damage was to a storage barn that was empty, no human life was lost.

The white cupcake looking thing above the traffic light pole and to the right of the tree is the Draper Temple. And I live to the left of tree in an area not visible in the picture.

This Fourth of July, I had to work so I didn't get to see any parades but I did see the coolest firework show and I heard the Thunderbirds fly over the stadium where I was checking peoples bags.

I started out the day by doing hospice visits but had to take several detours while driving due to road construction - I tell you what, I am getting a tad perturbed at all the road construction and how much longer it's taking to get every where now. 

After hospice I was at the Rio Tinto Stadium for the RSL v. Seattle soccer game - the game was lame but the firework show afterwards more than made up for it. I love fireworks! And the best part was when the Thunderbirds flew over the stadium on their way to Provo - so cool!

 

Redneck Zambian

My friend and I went to the Days of '47 Rodeo and among other things watched barrel racing and bull riding. I have been to a couple of rodeo's now and this one was fun, even though it was raining and I was cold and very wet. At one point the tractor came out to smooth out the arena, when it rounded the corner I saw the "Redneck Zamboni" sign and couldn't help but smile.

"I cannot hide what I am...I am a villain"

This month I went to Lagoon which looks suspiciously like KingsIsland but with a pioneer aspect added. I went on about a forth of the rides - I went on Spider, Wicked, Colossus The Fire Dragon and the White Roller Coaster back-to-back at which point I was feeling kind of queazy and took it easy for a bit. I went on the Wild Kingdom Train and looked at all the animals and then I went to Pioneer Village where I got my picture taken in costume - I'd always wanted to and today I did! I got to say though that probably my favorite rides were the Sky Scraper and the White Roller Coaster.

Sky Scraper

And I got a new roommate, Stan. Stan is going to help me pass Anatomy in the Fall - he came with a muscular chart, a skeletal chart and a spinal chart.

Hilga the Highland Coo at This is the Place

My new roommate Stan

I also went to This is the Place Heritage Park - being in Utah I figured I should explore my surroundings and see what's here - beyond a whole bunch of pioneer stuff, amusement rides and the great outdoors, not much. My friend had worked at This is the Place for several years, so she was showing me around. It was kind of cool actually but reminded me that Wheeler Farm, Gardner Village, Pioneer Village, This is the Place and Bannock, Montana are all shockingly similar to the pioneer Collin School in Ohio. Who would have thought.

This is the Place has a petting zoo that contained reindeer, pot-bellied pigs, goats, rabbits, turkeys,  donkeys and most adorable of all - Highland Coo's.

Red Butte Botanical Gardens

My first Moose sighting!

Red Butte Botanical Gardens

 Afterwards my friend and I went to Red Butte Botanical Gardens - since it was Pioneer Day and I had the day off and since the Gardens were free we visited, and they were AWESOME! So peaceful and calming and....and so very cool. And I also saw my first moose - granted they were cast in bronze but they were still moose.

Before

After

And since it'd been over a year and a half since I cut my hair - I cut my hair. And layered it. And highlighted it. And I like it!

Biology....

This semester I'm retaking biology and I'm taking archaeology - archaeology is the one class I wish I'd taken while I was at BYU-Idaho and didn't - I barely missed the required grade last year for biology to qualify for the nursing program so I'm redoing it in hopes of getting a higher grade. Last semester I had a female professor who had a god-complex - she thought she was god's gift to humanity and she had a very condescending attitude. I tend to learn better with male professors so I went with a guy this semester - he's different, instead of going over everything and blitzing through it he goes over just what you need to know in more detail - which I like. With my other professor unless you memorized the entire book, you couldn't pass her class because she tested on obscure minute facts and her test questions were all-or-nothing. With this teacher, his tests are short-answer essay (he figures we should actually know this stuff and not just guess) but he is more openminded as to what he'll accept, that and he encourages questions and doesn't insinuate that you're an idiot for not knowing. Which is much appreciated.

With that in mind - I have some questions and comments about what I've been learning. We were talking about DNA and how it's so clever because the bases practice high fidelity; guanine and cytosine are always together and adenine is always paired with thymine, except in RNA when adenine is with uracil - DNA stores genetic information for life but in viruses RNA is used. So genetically they're different.

Because we are carbon based we assume that all life is carbon based (which I think is rather egotistical but what can you do) - while there are other possibilities we would not associate it with life because we define life as being made up of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen. But there are extremophiles in the thermal vents deep in the ocean that are different - I would love to do some  research on those and find out how and why they work and what other possibilities are there.

We were also talking about what science is and isn't - science is looking for natural explanations for natural observations, only nature can be investigated using scientific technologies - supernatural phenomena is outside the realm of science. Supernatural phenomena would include shadow people, ghosts, voodoo, astrology, God. In science, there is no absolute  - it's all theory. But these theories are large conceptual ideas with broad explanatory power that are supported by overwhelming amounts of evidence and are treated as factual but are open to change and new data.

We touched very briefly on the human genome project, the biosphere in Arizona, bog people and cold fusion - when I have time I would like to do further research on them and find out more.

In discussing macromolecules - carbohydrates, lipids, proteins and nucleic acids - we were talking about how your diet effects your neurological activity. And how a diet rich in saturated fats leads to coronary heart disease. Trans Fats are not natural and are a partially hydrogenated fat that doesn't provide any known benefit to human health. On food labels you'll sometimes see "zero grams of trans fat" but it doesn't mean zero, it means that they got it down low enough per serving that they could round down to zero - only "No Trans Fat" means no trans fat.

The nucleus is made up of protons and neutrons with electrons all around it - weight wise the protons and the neutrons equal each other and there's about the same number of electrons orbiting it. If the nucleus is at one end of the football stadium, the closest electron would be on the far side, if not farther - my question is, how does that work?

Pure oxygen in high levels is toxic and photosynthesis is fairly inefficient because while it can theoretically be 30%, it works at a 0.1-3% capacity - but it does a good job at that level so it doesn't really need to be any higher. From that, I started thinking about our brains - according to some articles I read we use a small part of our brain at any given time, the more complex the activity the more parts of our brain are involved but we use the entire thing. Another article I read said that people with brain trauma may have a bubble of dead brain tissue in the middle of their brains that affects working capacity but that they would still live normal lives even though less capacity is available - we use 10% capacity. Obviously 10% capacity works for us, just like 0.1-3% capacity does for photosynthesis but what if the capacity were higher - how would things be different?

We also talked about free radicals and how in peroxisomes they're involved in oxidation reactions, they remove hydrogen ions and are transformed into oxygen and they break down lipids and toxins. And then you have the anti oxidants who come along and clean up all the free radicals - basically free radicals rip molecules apart. My original question was is free radicals related to telomeres? I don't think so because telomeres do not contain genetic information, they're just the stuff at the end of your DNA that gets shorter as your DNA replicates and divides - telomeres help preserve your genes from eroding too much, but once they're gone aging and other mental problems arise. Telomerase helps in longevity, extending telomere's and has been found in cancer cells. If cancer cells are made up of cells that are growing and dividing without regulation, hence telomerase and is basically immortal and creates a tumor over time and if free radicals rip the molecules apart and anti oxidants take care of the free radicals - does that mean that cancer cells lack free radicals? I think so.

And we talked about thermodynamics - the first law is that energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only change forms and the second law is that as energy is converted from one form to another, some energy is lost to entropy and is then in an unusable form for humans, the entropy in the universe is always increasing. In archaeology we were talking about radiocarbon dating and how the half-life of an organism is the amount of carbon-14 atoms that are left after an organism has died and has started to decay - in roughly 5730 years half of the carbon-14 that was in the organism when it was alive will have changed into nitrogen-14 atoms - from this you can back track to find out how old something is, as long as its younger than 45,000 years old. The original question was can the same process you use in archaeology to find the half-life of an organism thats been dead for thousands of years be used to find the age of the planet/solar system/universe? Looked it up briefly and the answer is yes - there is a similar process. They've determined that through radiometric dating of heavy elements like uranium the solar system is 4.5 billion years old and the universe is 13.7 billion years old and the universe is expanding.

Couple comments - first of all that's a lot of birthdays. Second - of course the universe is expanding, entropy increases as energy is converted from one form to another. Third - it probably is conceivable that the universe is that old because even though it's outside the realm of science we know that God is the same today, yesterday and forever, in The Pearl of Great Price it talks about how God is "without beginning of days or end of years", how his works are without end and will never cease, "worlds without number have I created", "there are many worlds that have passed away by the word of my power. And there are many that now stand, and innumerable are they unto man; but all things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them" - the scriptures even tell us how He did it - "we will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell", "and by the word of my power, have I created them." I think "the word" means priesthood in this context. The point is - God has rules he has to obey, otherwise he wouldn't be the same "yesterday, today and forever", he didn't created this world out of nothing - there were materials that he used and since He and his works are without end, the universe could be billions of years old, that makes complete sense. 

It also makes sense that way back in the day a eukaryotic cell ate a mitochondria and a chloroplast and life emerged - we had to start somewhere, God uses the material he has to work with, he can't just defy justice because then he couldn't grant mercy - all ends of the law must be fulfilled. Theodosius Dobzhamsky, a creationist from the early 1900's, said "Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution", evolution accounts for the unity and diversity of life. To a certain degree, I believe in evolution - I believe that God used evolution to further his creative and divine purposes. What I do not believe in is life emerging out of nothing - while genetic mistakes happen all the time, DNA completely replicates itself every couple of hours and there are 6 Billion possibilities, roughly six mistakes occur every time replication happens - I do not believe that we are all genetic mistakes, that all 8.7 Million species on Earth are genetic mistakes and that we are all here by happen chance. And actually if you pay attention to what they're saying - they don't believe it either. From an evolutionary point of view you have the bacteria, archaea and eukarya - we came out of the eukarya after the mitochondria and chloroplast got eaten, life emerged. Completely plausible. But it begs the question: where did the bacteria, archaea and eukarya come from? From what I've learned thus far, their response - it just was. Oooookay. That makes absolutely no sense - I mean think about it. Out of nothing, which the laws of thermodynamics tells us isn't possible, life emerged. Right. Moving right along. I like to think of the creation as a ping-pong game - God told us he used materials and there was space available and maybe in the process of combining the materials a big bang was the result. Even though science can't explain God and is considered outside the realm, God explains science and together it makes sense. And fourth - I had a different professor would told us that if you find yourself in an abandoned mineshaft and there's green glowing water, you should probably leave because uranium is nearby.

Interesting Foods.....

Young Coconut

Pickled Mango

Aloe Drink

While out and about on my many adventures I've seen some interesting foods - while aloe drink is actually really good,  I have two questions - why would you pickle a mango? and how do you eat raw coconut?

Antique Shop....

"40 isn't old if you're a tree"

 





 A little while ago I went to an antique shop to look around and found these.....

Gardener Village....

Gardener Village Sign

I went to Gardener Village in West Jordan to visit the Farmers Market and visit the shops - among other things I went into a candy shop and found Kinder bueno! They were delicious!

Mesa Verde.....

Balcony House

While visiting Mesa Verde I went to Balcony House and Cliff Palace. At Balcony House there were a couple of kiva's - they explained that each family had their own kiva and that it was a matrimonial society. Mesa Verde is situated on a plateau on the top of a mountain - more specifically in the side of the mountain. The guide explained that wood logs would rest on the stone shelf forming a peaked roof - grass and other organic would cover the logs. A ladder would be let down from the middle and people could enter the kiva to worship, talk, commune with Mother Earth or Father Sky or whatever. After everyone was inside the kiva, the ladder would be removed and a fire would be built. The kiva has a ventilation shaft that would suck air into the room, hit the barrier in front of the fire, disperse the air around and then the smoke would be sucked back up through the hole in the middle of the roof. In the floor is a small hole called a sipapu, that the ancient peoples believed was a ladder from the last world. They believed that this was the fourth world and that three other worlds had come before and that people would climb up the ladder into the next world, each world being better than the last and this world is close to the end of its existence and the fifth world would soon be here and that people would climb up the ladder into that world - sound familiar?

Square Tower House

Excavated Pit Houses

Vacation....

At the beginning of May, right after I was done with finals I went on vacation - my vacation was multi-facitaded. I saw all the temples in Utah - even the ones that weren't there like Ogden, Payson and Provo City Center - and I also saw the Las Vegas Temple. Vacation was five days and I drove over 2,760 miles - I didn't drive all of it, Jeffrey came with me and he drove about half of it. And I was in four states - Utah, Colorado, Arizona and Nevada - aside from being really tired, it wasn't so bad - I had fun.

In Colorado, I went down to Mesa Verde and saw the cliff dwellings - Cliff Palace, Balcony House, Square Tower House, pit houses and Pueblo Villages - if you've never been before I would encourage you to go, it was amazing. Sort of like the ones I saw in Manitou Springs a couple of years ago but not quite.


In Arizona, we saw the Hoover Dam - unfortunately the elevators were down and we couldn't go inside the dam but it was still cool. Definitely worth a trip back to get to see the inside. And we visited the Grand Canyon - at some point I would love to do a multi-day river trip down the Colorado River through the Canyon itself.



In Nevada, we explored the Strip and saw the water show at the Bellagio, it's a very unique place, very different - we saw Le Reve's "The Dream" - which was AMAZING! Oh my gosh I could not believe how incredible it was! I would love to go back and see it again. To finish up the trip we saw "Avengers" - and that was pretty cool too :)

 

Temples...

Ogden

Monticello

Provo

Mount Timp

Vernal

Brigham City

Saint George

Saint George

Salt Lake

Logan

Bountiful

Payson

Oquirrh Mountain

Provo City

Las Vegas

Manti

Manti

Draper

Jordan River

Cherish the Moments...

Sometimes my residents families ask me what the hardest part of my job is and if I have any advice for them - the hardest part is seeing the patients linger in pain and knowing I can't speed it up or slow it down and dealing with families who are being selfish and who aren't willing to let their loved ones go - so frustrating. My advice is to cherish the moments you have together and to make every one count because you don't know how many or how few you have left and it could all change in the blink of an eye. 


Figuring I ought to take my own advice, I have started going on more adventures - partly to retain my sanity and partly to give me something other than work to talk/think about. At the beginning of the month I went on vacation and then a week later I went to Wheeler Farm and the following week I went to the Renaissance Festival.


Wheeler Farm totally reminded me of the farm we lived on in Ohio - very 4H ish, they had a general store that reminded me a lot of Jacksons and of course the baby animals were adorable. The Renaissance Festival was actually kind of lame - I'm used to the one in Colorado, it's huge and has elephants and camels (yes I rode an elephant and it was awesome), the shows are really good, the jousting is funny and the steak-on-a-stick is amazing. The one in Utah is completely different - it's still in its infancy and has A LOT of room to grow before it's even in the same ballpark as the one in Colorado. It was alright just now what I expected. I did get a really cool bottle and a paddle lock though. They had this giant turtle named Otis that was really awesome and adopt-a-pet was there with the cutest baby kittens.