In my apartment we came up with a chore chart - we each have a day where we specifically are in charge of taking out the trash and doing the dishes. It's working out pretty well for the most part - except the other day the dishes were piled high, the trash needed to be taken out and a bunch of crap was left all over the front room and the kitchen. I snapped. I couldn't stand it anymore. I just started cleaning everything - the dishes, the kitchen, the front room, my bed room. I have a low tolerance for messes - especially in my apartment. I can't stand having a messy apartment - it makes me very agitated, I can't focus and it doesn't feel good - the feel of the apartment is different and I don't like it.
When one of my roommates found out that I'd done it, she basically told me that I'm enabling my other roommates to slack off and to not clean. And I need to stop doing that. She said that she shudders to think about what would happen if there were an alcoholic in my family. She said that I would just give them the alcohol if they were having a bad day.
There is a huge difference between cleaning an apartment because your roommates are slobs and encouraging someone in their drinking habits.
I personally wouldn't complain if you came to my house to clean - HA HA! And as long as you don't do it for them ALL the time I would say once in a while isn't terrible - just call it service instead of enabling.
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It was shocking to hear your description of how you can't focus with a messy apartment. I'm the exact same way! I frequently caved as well because after so long someone's got to do it, right? Anyway, I did start to notice a pattern that people would take advantage of my generosity, and overtime I was stuck doing dishes for 3 hours at a time, three days a week because some of my roommates just knew it was only a matter of time before I caved. People these days...
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Sorry Janae I totally agree with your roommate. You are definitely an enabler. And as I am constantly telling my kids. Stop worrying about what others are doing (or not doing) and worry about what YOU need to be doing. I'm sure you had homework that needed to be done and could have been done in the library.
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